Lately!

sheesh i haven't updated in who knows how long. Months? a yeah? not that anybody reads my blogs. St George Is great. I love it. Weather is amazing. ROOMMATES are amazing. Life is going pretty well. It was homecoming week this week. and man sadly I didnt' participate in anything at all going on. How pathetic is that? what's even more pathetic i don't have any "dixie" type of clothes. i just don't want to spend the money on one. thats like CEU i never got one from there. oh dear. The Dance was tonight. I remember how guys choice dances were such a huge thing in High School And I remember never going to one which for me was a HUGE deal. I'm sure i could have gone if i wanted to with someone. but I really don't care about any of that. My Roommate, Lauren and I went with what we thought were free tickets to get in on our fridge. its 5 dollars a couple and 10 dollars for singles! Crazy! Well our tickets are the type you get at classic skating or at a carnival ha. We get there. and I had my bridesmaid dress on and it can go as either pretty classy or also good for church. We had gone to a meeting thing before stake conference tomorrow, so my hair was already in a nice bun thing and a headband. all i did was my eye make up. not a lot of work. we walked up there and it looked SO lame inside. ok it had just started a half hour previously, but yeah. i don't know. We realized the tickets must have been for something else. So we left. heck no am i paying 10 dollars! : )

tho i do have to admit that being asked to a dance would be fun. I haven't gotten all dressed up for a nice date in.... well. I don't remember the last time, or if there ever has been a time i've gotten to dress up for a date. oh Omega dance. that was fun. and was about 3 years ago. so yeah. My bishop says he hopes i find a really good guy because i deserve one, and that makes me feel special. I'm not interested in any guys here in St George. But there's Michael, Las Vegas is far away and its been 3 or 4 weeks since I've seen him. :/ and probably 2 more weeks till i might see him again. that makes it hard. He's a really great friend. Just too bad he lives 2 hours away.

School i love, but i've been slacking a LOT. i am getting very distracted. I start my Preceptors the week after Fall break. I am so nervous for it. I hope it all goes well. I am not taking things seriously. I am tempted to delete my FB or do something so that i don't check it or even get on it. after fall break, its going to be so insanely hard and crazy. I've been having a rough week this past week, but i am hanging in there. Just a lot of thinking and a lot of trying to figure out what the next step is and how i can prepare for it. Mission/humanitarian ? where to work? seeing as there are not really any jobs for Nurses here in Utah. We will find out.

I still love life and i love my ward and my Bishop so much. i am really so blessed. I really have the best ones here. How i landed amazing people i don'n know. As much as I loved Price, i really Love St George. I am having a good time down here. At times i don't want to leave this place. I know its all in the Lord's hands and I am going to go wherever he leads me.

well thats all with life. Can't complain too much about it :)

St George

Its a beautiful place here! I am studying a lot and it takes a lot of time, but i Like to learn and These sacrifices will pay off for something in the future. So i am holding on and going through these motions. i wish i had closer roommates and Friends, I do have Danette, she's the closest one here. I'm glad i have her. I guess sometimes i look down upon myself for not having tons and tons of fun and amazing things like other people. Or the popularity and ect. that others have. i know i never really have, and it doesn't matter. I shouldn't do that just because i don't have close friends or roommates down here. Despite this situation, i am trying. I really am. and i will make the best of my experience :) One day i will meet an awesome guy. but not for now i guess. i mean yeah, there are cool guys, and some hot ones, usually accompanied with a girl >:P its true when i or Krista says : All the Good ones are either taken, Dead/ Fictional!! bah. oh well. Krista comes in a few days, so it will be good. I best prepare myself for her arrival.

i just Thought of something as i am typing this. I need to spiritually prepare myself better for when The Saviour Comes. I am doing good, But i need to work harder. Especially for Nursing school. I know this profession is going to help a LOT of people. This is Just not a Career, its a Calling. I'm glad things are hard when they are. I'm glad school kicks me to make sure i'm in line. Its gonna make me a better thing. I see from past experience, all these things are working out for the good. and If i am working hard and doing it for good, Its not going to waste. So even tho i Don't have all the friends and parties and this or that. Its just fine. Lord Loves me for me, and it doesn't matter if i am popular or invisible down here! As long as i serve and do my part! When He comes, he won't ask me how popular i was, or how many crazy things or how many friends i had, he will want to know who i helped. and What i have learned while being down here. Ah typing this out has made my now going to study a more positive experience, than just the regular daily Grind. OFF TO THE LIBRARY!!! :)

A new beginning!

Packing everything again, Its a lot of work, and man do i have a lot of stuff. A lot of mixed feelings. but i know this is for the good. Its just the moving part and getting everything settled that is stressful. sometimes its hard to see everything Dead outside. But i love it when the sun comes out. I look forward to the Red rocks and hopefully more color down there in St george. I look forward to a new adventure. I couldn't do this without the Savior. Without my parents/family, and Especially without my Best friends. and those who are friends/co-workers. I know i can do this, and i need to Look forward with brightness and hope. : )

The Real you.

In an article in the New Era by Elder Boyd K. Packer, Something struck out to me: When We die, Our Spirits leave our bodies for a time.

What will our spirits Look like?

You can't take with you make up, or physical things. NO worldy or earthly Possesions. You have Knowlege and what you have learned and the person INSIDE is all thats there. So you may have had a perfect face and body. But were you nice and Kind? Selfless? OR were you Prideful and Cynnical. Obsessing about your physical apprearance and worldy lusts that you forgot all about Whats really imporant-thus defacing and mangling that very person inside. Thinking about YOu and what you want and doing things for your gain, but hurt others and truly in the end yourself?

Maybe You don't have the perfect looks or body. Sure it is nice to take care of yourself and present yourself a representative of You and The important thing. But its always whats in there that counts.same question as above: Do You nourish or deprive your spirit? So Through faith and Patience, charity towards all, forgiveness, the Golden rule. Doing things you know are right, and staying away from what you know is bad. losing yourself in service of others and God, you find yourself.

Everyone will see the true person on the inside. and there will be No mask, no make up, no Physical anything To hide the Real you.

So again i ask: What will our spirits look like?

comments?

hmmm....

I know i should be s tudying, but i am having a hard time concentrating.

I have such good friends down here in price. I am so sad to leave them and go back to salt lake, not saying i don't miss the ones up there too. but with the ones down here, i may never see them again. Well...i will eventually when i pass out of this life, but that could be in like..... 80 years or something ha ha :'(

And it seems. FINALLY i have met some good friends that are guys, ones who talk to me and actually care about what is going on, but i know that once i move back home, all that will end because they are guys and won't keep in touch with me, JUST like all the others.

"How can a man be all that they say, when all i know is men run away. I think i lose a little bit of me, in every man that i see."

its just really hard. I just feel like I have good friends that are guys for a while, but then, they leave me for other things. Its just really hard. because i just want a stable guy friend, one who actually cares about me and Values our friendship. I'm still searching for one out there. And where distance DOES Not have to matter. where HE too will put forth some effort. but thats the thing, I am giving the effort and they don't. or eventually dont. :(

I am grateful for the "he" friends who had been there for me. i just don't think i can take much more of this any longer. I just hate to see things end or go the way they do. I'm trying. I'll just have to try a little harder.

Believe me i am praying, and i am going out there and trying to make friends and all that, and if you know me, i am the shy type, so i feel like i have been doing pretty good, but i know that my friendships won't be as strong once i leave this town. Summers get busy and people go their separate ways . I know Lord will help me out. Thank heavens He is always there for me. I just wish guys down here were too.

What's In a Name?

Megan Laurel Torgersen

Megan-
Welsh, Gaelic: meaning: Welsh diminutive form of Margaret mighty, strong able, pearl Megan is a, from Greek 'margaron', "pearl", and thus means "little pearl".

Laurel-
Creativity - Laurel was said to communicate the spirit of prophecy and poetry. Laurel leaves were commonly put under pillows at night to gain inspiration through dreams and its intoxicating properties are associated with prophetic and poetic inspiration.
Cleansing Properties and Magical Attributes - Laurel leaves surrounded the temple of Apollo to cleanse the soul before entering. It’s associated with purification and was seen as a plant with powers of immortality. Laurel supposedly awakens awareness and past life memories, stimulates psychic awareness, health and the powers of divination.
Peace and Protection - Today laurel is seen as a symbol of peace. It also indicates a power over the passions and is thought to protect from the influence of evil spirits and to give protection from lightening.
Achievement - It has long been a symbol of victory. Laurel was given as a symbol to the winner in Pythian games. Masons consider the laurel symbol to signify the hopeful expectation of success in the search for the True Word. In the bible, laurel is an emblem of prosperity and fame. In Christianity it is said to symbolize the resurrection of Christ and the triumph of humanity. It is also the source of the word Baccalaureate and of poet laureate.

Torgersen-
Norwegian: patronymic from Torger, a form of Old Norse þorgeirr, from þórr, name of the Norse god of thunder (see Thor) + geirr ‘spear’.

What’s in a name? What’s in my name? I don’t think there is any mistake I have been given this name. It means a lot to me. Its really Humbling because there is a lot i've got to work on.I'm not boasting about what i am, but what my name means, and How i can be like that. Its really amazing actually.. I must live up to my name. Megan Laurel Torgersen: establisher of Peace, victory, mighty, spear, of Olden beginning of Christianity. A symbol. Me.

I've decided now what i want in my wedding. I want to wear pearls and have Laurel leaves in my bouquet or something. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Sv2yzIrpaY

THis song is amazing to me. its not exactly about my name, but what i feel right now.

Guys,

So Things are well so far, I am posting this just because i need to, and not much to do with Nursing:

I am Grateful for who I am. I love me. I know i am not ugly, and What i am saying here is I have a lot of people say i am pretty/beautiful/ect. I am not boasting, its just what i've been told, and i don't think i'm ugly either.

I am just bothered by the fact that some guys Say nice things to me and sweet talk me and all that jazz because of the way i look. If in fact i were not the way i looked, i wonder, Would they Even care about WHO is on the inside, now thats a hard question to ask, because Of course, they will tell me, "Of course I would" But reallly, they've never known me as long as My family and Best friends. SO how in the world can they say that. Sure over time, they may realize they like who i am on the inside, but I think because of the way i look, they let those fences down because i am not ugly, and don't have to worry if some cute girl likes them or not. Ya see what i am trying to get at. Please, guys. Save your comments. I don't want to be Your girlfriend. Or your Rebound girl.

And another thing, Is when They are your friend and always so nice and sweet, and then you try to talk to them sometimes, and they are not there, Or I am always the one keeeping in touch! and I feel like an idiot because I want to show them i am their friend, but yet they don't Give the same effort. Yes i know, they are guys who don't have a clue, but You'd think maybe in this instance they would. wrong :(

My luck with having guy friends is well.........pretty poor, BUT that doesn't mean its gonna stay that way. I am gonna try. and those boys who cause me frustration, WILL be sorry for thinking they can treat me this way! i Ain't Takin Yo' crap ( insert assertive black lady voice)

Aight Foo! yo gonna be ma Friend, Well lisen Honey, Ya Betta Prove yahself! I aint yo Sugar! i dun wit dis! *snap snap*

heh. gettin a little carried away here ha ha

So guys, Shut up and be real. I'm sick of this nonsense. stay real.

and to My Girls. You gals rock. i love ya'lls. thanks for keeping me patient and everything :)