An update

Well i really Don't know who all looks at my Blogs, but sometimes its nice to write this out.

To be honest. I have been having a really tough time. I came home for valentine's weekend, and it has seriously been the best weekend for a long time. I was home in price for a month, and i have to say, that was the hardest month of the semester. BUT, I got through. with the Help of my Family and Friends.

Yeah, so valentines, had a princess party:) pretty much awesome! We dressed up and looked well, i'd say hot, or beautiful, or both ha ha, We just had fun together, and I hadn't laughed So hard in a long time, something much needed to laugh out everything. We wen to target, my fav moment of the night, and this little girl saw krista, and she was like..."she's Beauuuuuuuuuutiful!" over and over. Then, when we were leaving, we saw her and her dad and sister, and mind you, she's like 3. "there they are again! Bye Princess!" Cutest thing ever, i dont' think she'll ever forget it. It made my night. It was SO much fun.

It was just SO nice to be home. I really missed it. It was supposed to snow the day i was gonna leave, on tuesday. So My dad told me i had to be gone by 1pm. My whole day stuck having to go back to price for almost another month. I had never had a harder time leaving than when i first left home. I was close to throwing a fit, i kept telling them how i hate price and how i don't want to go back. I had a hard time. I ended up not even dealing with any snow, except in orem for about 10 min. and then it was clear skies the rest of the night. its been almost 2 weeks since i left home, and i am trying my best to keep my chin up and buck up. Now i am fine being down here. I like being somewhere small. But i realized how i dont have much of a social life, and there is nothing to do down here, which makes it hard, and i feel like i have...No guy friends, and I love having friends that are girls, but it would be nice to have friends that are guys. Just Friends, doesn't mean it has to be a relationship at all. Anyways, I've been having a hard time, and find myself on my knees a lot. It seems they all have moved on, and i hate that. Ugh, STUPID. Boys. i wonder if its something i've done wrong. but i know its not. i am trying to keep the friendships together, and its their own dang fault. but i'm not being pushy or anything. they are just stupid. is it sad to say i don't have a friend that im close enough to that i dont' have a best friend guy? :( Guys are much more laid back than girls, and i could use that right now. Anyways, i am going off...... basically, Its a little rough with that.

Thank heavens for my girls. They have really helped me pull through lately. Marisa, Madison, Krista, Gloria, Aya, Audrey, and Cristina, and others.

School. I have so many tests and things going on, its been OVERWHELMING. and seriously, i have been going insane. the other day i wanted to go and jump out the 3 story window where i live, just enough to break my bones. I never would, but just thats how i was feeling. I have been trying to go running and went to institute, and play on the piano, and pray, and listen to music which helps. But its hard at times too.

I am doing my best to stay positive and hang in there. So far so good, just once in a while I go downhill, but There are many moments i am so happy and appreciative, and I know, Now is the time to be happy, not wait for soemthing else to come.

I just think i needed to vent, I'm really going to be ok. It happens. and i am never alone, so Let the storms rage and the rain pour!

Oh and This weekend marks the Halfway point, AND spring break is in 2 weeks!! 2!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, SO CRAZY!

Well it seems again i have been behind again, i just posted the blog below me, i saved it in drafts and forgot about it...obviously.


So the semester is 1/3 of the way over with! and Boy, let me tell you, It has flown by. starting day one, like i had said, was very overwhelming. But you just take it for one day at a time. Here is how the Week goes in a nutshell.

Sunday: church @ 11-2 i speak this sunday! eek! then usually study time or munch'n mingle, and an occasional CES fireside and every 5th sunday they feed us:)

Monday: class from 8:30-1200 then its off to study for much of the day, work out, FHE

Tuesday: class from 8 or 8:30-1200, then go to the hospital to pick a patient and do care plans-which i highly despise, and pathophysiology papers on what our patient has, and drug cards, all that takes FOREVER to do. then its study till late.

Wednesday: 5:45-1:30 is clinicals at the hospital, sometimes i take a nap, as of late, i haven't :( so much to do. then its work on homework and whatever else.

Thursday: 5:45-1:30 again at the hospital, with 2 patients assigned to us and all the work that goes with that. come back to my dorm, shower, maybe sleep, i try not to, maybe work out, depending on how tired i am. then Study till late. We usually have tests on Fridays:(

Friday: class from 8:30/45-1200-usually get out early- then its study for 2 hours and then take the test which usually, for me goes from 45 min-90 mins depending on how hard the test is. Then I usually take a nap or go running or take a break! i honestly LOVE fridays! me and my girls will make yummy food and watch a movie or go find somewhere adventurous to go- we are creative here in this small town price. Fridays are fun:) especially if i can go home.

Saturday: Sleep IN! best Morning ever!!!!! :) i usually clean and get things organized before they get scattered monday:p And depending on if there is a test, which there is this tuesday, Studay for test and get other Homework issues taken care of. Oh the Joys of studying and homework:S

Its been about a month since i have gone home, but it's alright. The past month has Taught me a lot. I have had a couple experiences where i have been on my knees praying for help or for someone else. And its hard when you are having a really rough time because someone you care about a lot doesn't even try to return the friendship, and it hurts really bad. I find that God will send his tender mercies when you are far from home. As much as i wanted my family and friends back at home to be there physically right there with me, I have ones here to lift me up, there's Phones, and Instant Messaging. So its not like i've been totally cut off from the world:)

Some days are easier than others. Averaging 1-2 tests a week, I find sometimes i don't get a lot of sleep, and try to catch it up on the weekends. Some days there's not enough in the day to accomplish and i want to hide away in my covers or just get in the car and drive far, far away. and I value the essence of being alone. With being so busy, studying with friends, having roommates, class, clinical, church stuff, ect, activities, sometimes having time spent alone doesn't happen much. So last Friday, I was So wound up. It had been one of the hardest weeks of the semester...well..it WAS the hardest week.A lot of things that could be unfortunate, were. Both School and nonSchool. i got through it, but by friday, I didn't wan to socialize or do anything fun. I needed to be alone, So i got in the car, found a place to stargaze and TRUELY be alone. Amazing. i listened to my Music, and just was there, alone...not completely:) I felt so much better.

"Be believing.

Be happy.

Don't get discouraged

Things will work out."-President Hinckley

My Korean friend gave me that quote with a picture of president Hinckley her husband had drawn-pencil sketch, and AMAZING. And gave a pic of the salt lake temple as well. It was on one of my harder days-also the aniversary of the prophet's passing. Each time i looked at it, it gave me strength, not to mention i cried everytime i saw it.

Good news, with things that happen, or things pressing on my mind, stress, pondering, things that upset me, or some things that just amaze me, i find that i can compose better. Not necessarily when i'm really upset or angry, unless its a full blown out slam on keys jam...

I FINISHED completely FINISHED one of my piano Compositions!!!! Its name i am not certain on, but I think it will be called the rain song, since some friends keep saying this should be it. but other names i wanted to put for it are: My heart-because i feel like that song Says everything i feel inside without words; another is His Gift, because its God's gift to me, He inspires me to play what i do. It just comes. I am the instrument, and he allows my testimony to come out in my songs. Anyways.... :) its great! i love it, my fav. is the climax-usually climaxes are that way- but my friend Audrey said that when she closes her eyes, its like a pouring rainstorm, and it gets intense, that you can imagine the rain just pouring down intenstly... this song is unlike the others, that have a soft mellow, melodic tone to it, well this one does, but there is a lot of ....Power in it, which is why i like it. This song has morphed and been played over and over and added and subtracted things for years..since highschool. And Now, Finally. FINALLY!!! its Finished!!! :D *happy dance*

ROOMMATES:

I have 3 new rooommates. They are great. 2 of which i see. i have one who was here last semester. there are 5 of us. My Roommate's name is AYA, She is from Japan, and is THE awesomest Roommate ever! I love her to death! she is a little older than i am, but I enjoy having her as my roommate, i prayed i would get a good roommate, and i sure did:) She speaks english well...once in a while we aren't sure what each other is saying, but we figure it out. She is meeting with the missionaries right now, and knows a lot about the church, goes to all church activities with enthusiasm. She keeps me strong:) we have fun.

The other is Lisa, i can't remember her real name, but she is from Korea. she is great, and she is sweet:) I really like these girls. Lisa has her friends over a lot, and they like to cook, so it smells of Korean food quite often. they hang out a lot over here, which i am not used to from last semester, when our dorm was a ghost town.....(i miss that) but its all good.

I love it down here. I am here for a reason and I know God wanted me here, and provided a way, even tho at first it seemed impossible. I am Learning, not only about Nursing-the thing i've wanted to do my whole life- but about myself. I do love price, and i love everyone down here.

I will try to keep Things up to date, but seeing as its been 5 weeks since i had ATTEMPTED at it...We'll see what happens... I'll post some pics now:) i apologize for the smallness of some.

This here is Audrey, Cristina, and myself on a horse at the bowling alley
We have fun:) my good friends:)

At the Basketball game:)

There was a dress-up thing at the institute, and we had to do a short skit of some movie-we did enchanted ha ha, i got best actress award, which was a spraypainted gold-Mrs. butterworths syrup:)

The Moon was Really Big one night, amazing huh?

Me and AYA:) she is the best.