Killin me

This is a funny time of life.
Single life is great. So many great things about it. I have a lot i can do ahead of me. I have a lot planned to do. I enjoy life as much as i can in any situation. But Single comes at a price. Part of me really wishes i had someone in my life. I had someone in my life. that ended when he went for someone else. and then he ends up single again. we haven't spoken in 6 months when he broke it  I miss him like crazy, it's killin me. The hardest part is falling for someone who isn't even a member of the church. It's like I don't want to go back to that, but I don't feel like finding someone new. I need the temple. I am willing to wait for the right person. and it sucks. This waiting is really hard. A roller coaster. It scares me to think i could ever be married. part of me just wants to be single forever because I'm so used to it. Scared to meet someone. Scared out of my mind. I just wanna run. Run to my humanitarian mission somewhere across the world far far away.... I hope one day. not now, but one day I can let this go and not be afraid and let myself fall for the right guy. just one day at a time....